Lessons from a Renovation: Why Letting Go of Blame is Key
We were doing a major renovation on our house about 10 years ago. When you start taking apart an old building, you inevitably find issues you were not anticipating. Subsequently, there were more delays and cost overruns than expected. As our move-in date approached, it was obvious we would be moving into a house that was still under construction. While this was frustrating, perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the reno was how most of the trades blamed others as the reason for their delays and missed deadlines - none of this helped us nor was comforting. About a week before move-in, late on a Friday afternoon, I’m meeting with the electrician to discuss what needs to be done to finish the job.
He says, "We’re late because of the drywallers. They won’t return our calls and when they do, it’s so short notice, we can’t just drop everything because of their poor planning." His aggressive tone makes it obvious he is very stressed.
I’m tempted to say, "Not my problem. We’re paying you to complete this job and we’re moving in next week and because of you, we’re moving onto a construction zone. You’re late and you need to fix it now." I think I would be right saying this.
Fortunately, I say, "You know what, at this point we're really not interested in blaming someone. Sure we’d love to be on schedule and not in this jam but why don’t we focus on what needs to happen next. What do you need from us and what do you from any of the other sub-trades so that you can complete everything you need done this weekend ? So that you’re done—completely done."
This catches him off guard but he seems to relax. "I need you to have all the light fixtures here and label them with their location. As for the other trades, we need unobstructed access to the house for the weekend—no other trades here."
"OK, the lights will be here later tonight and I'll call the project manager to ensure the house is yours for the entire weekend."
And on Monday morning, they were done !
The lesson learned here is simple - let go of the need to be right.
It’s one thing to say, "Let go of the need to be right and replace it with the desire to move forward and focus on solutions." However, it is not that easy, especially in the heat of the moment—awareness is a wonderful trait but it is fleeting !
This is where gratitude comes in. We know from research that the more we develop a grateful mindset, the less likely we are to be hooked by negativity, the more value we attach to future outcomes and the more focused we become on achieving those outcomes. As far as letting go of the past and wanting to blame, a grateful frame of mind doesn’t just help you move through these difficult situations, a grateful mindset equips you to deal with the negativity in a positive, constructive, caring manner and not simply gloss over it.
I may sound like a broken record, but here’s my simple suggestion for you and for you to develop within your team,
Cultivate a grateful mindset by making a list of what you’re grateful for - every single day !
This sounds simple and just like being solution-focused, it is not easy—in fact, it’s downright hard ! So if you want support in building a grateful mindset, register for the Daily Gratitudes. Think of The Daily Gratitudes as your very own virtual Gratitude Coach reminding you to step back and make your list and supplying you with inspiring ideas so your gratitude practice doesn’t get stale.
The Daily Gratitudes is brilliant and I hope you take advantage of it. Register for free here - https://www.gratitudeatwork.ca/the-daily-gratitudes/habitual-ritual
Get our Keeping Level blog delivered to your inbox as soon as it’s released every second Wednesday.
Most leaders underestimate the impact of what they “go on about.”
During a CEO peer group retreat at North America’s first single malt whiskey distillery, an unexpected voice cut through collective silence. This story explores leadership, group dynamics, and why outsider perspective can be the most powerful force in a room.
Most leaders underestimate the impact of what they “go on about.”
This story-driven video reveals how casual negativity can become a leadership reputation—and shape what your team feels safe to suggest or try.
A simple reminder with big implications for culture and communication.
👉 Watch now ▶️
Leadership often lives in the space between words—and that’s where things quietly fall apart.
This brief, personal story illustrates why clarity is one of the most underestimated leadership skills.
👉 Watch the video 🎥 and explore how to close the gap before gravity does.
Great leadership isn’t always loud or exciting. Often, it’s the quiet consistency that makes people feel safe. In this post, I share a simple family story that reveals why stability is one of the most underestimated leadership qualities—and why protecting it matters more than ever.
▶️🦖 Watch the video
Standing on sacred ground at Vimy Ridge, I realized something essential about leadership: people don’t follow numbers—they follow meaning. This reflection bridges history and modern leadership in a powerful way. 🎥👇
👉 Watch the video and consider the story you’re telling your team.
Organizations rarely “choose” dysfunction. More often, they drift—one copied workaround at a time—until inefficiency becomes the standard operating system. Whether it’s outdated norms, clunky tools, or unnecessary steps, the pattern is the same: when no one questions the default, the default wins.
This video gives you a simple, practical prompt to reset your team: audit one habit they copy from you.
▶️ Watch the video ✅🎬
In 1987, at my first job as an engineer, my boss’s boss—Fraser Blair—felt larger than life. He had a booming voice, a big presence, and a senior title that honestly intimidated me. One day I asked him a simple question about the origin of “Mahone Bay.” That night, at 10pm, he called me at home with the answer. That quiet act of follow-through completely disarmed my fear and built a bridge of trust and camaraderie that changed how I worked.
This experience taught me a lesson I’ve never forgotten: follow-through builds trust faster than authority. In this short video, I share the story and invite you to consider one outstanding commitment you could close today—an email, an introduction, a decision, a promise.
👉 Watch the video below and reflect on how your own follow-through shapes trust at work. 🎥
“Steve, I’ve tried the gratitude list thing… it just doesn’t work for me.”
That’s what a participant told me at a recent gratitude retreat. Her experience is more common than you might think. A lot of people—and a lot of leaders—are faithfully writing gratitude lists that never really touch the heart. The problem isn’t gratitude itself; it’s that we’re only practicing one-third of it.
In this video, I walk through three components of meaningful gratitude:
In the video below, I share how I shifted from vague expectations to a clear, five‑minute integrity talk that spelled out what cheating looked like, what the consequences were, and why it mattered. More importantly, I share the leadership question that changed everything: “What did I not say, clarify, model, or reinforce that might have made this outcome more likely?”
In 1997, I bought a Mother’s Day gift that backfired – and it changed how I lead. I realized that good intentions don’t automatically translate into positive impact. This principle applies to teams, decisions, and relationships. In this post, I share the story and the question every leader should ask before acting.
Leadership isn’t about avoiding challenges—it’s about how you respond when they hit close to home. I learned this after catching a student cheating in an ethics exam. My instinct was personal, but the right response was principle-based. Here’s the full story and the lesson every leader needs.
After more than a decade of running the same trail, I thought I knew every regular. Then, one day, I met someone I already knew—and had never seen before.
That moment reminded me of a truth every leader needs to hear: the more experience you have, the more likely you are to miss something important.
Blindspots aren’t harmless—they’re costly. In this post, I’ll share why staying curious and humble is critical for leadership success.
👉 Watch the video and start uncovering what you’re missing! 🎥
Ever notice how kids never stop asking “Why”? Last week, my 3-year-old grandson reminded me of something powerful: as adults—and especially as leaders—we often stop asking, and even worse, we stop answering.
When you make changes in your organization, your team is just as curious as a child… but they’ll only ask once. If your answer doesn’t make sense, trust erodes. In this video, I share a simple truth about why explaining your “why” matters more than you think.
👉 Watch now and discover how to build trust by embracing curiosity.
<more>
Sometimes the biggest relief comes from finally doing the thing you’ve been putting off.
In this short story, I share a personal experience that reminded me how often leaders delay decisions—even when the tools and resources are right in front of us.
If you're a CEO or business leader, this one's for you.
👉 What decision are you sitting on that could unlock clarity, growth, or momentum? <more>
Ever heard of pronoia?
It’s the opposite of paranoia—the belief that the universe is conspiring in your favour.
Last weekend, two friends sent me an article on gratitude from the NY Times. I hadn’t seen it yet, but they had me covered.
Fifteen years ago, my reaction would’ve been very different. <more>
One of my weekly check-ins with my boss 30 years ago is embossed in my mind. Watch the video to find out why ! <more>
The nurse asked me a routine medical question that made me freeze:
"Do you do any recreational drugs—like <more>
Last week our daughter Stef drops off 2 year old Mae at daycare. Accompanying her is our 10 year old grandson Max.
What happens next is amazing <more>
It’s July 31. We finish dinner and I say,
“Max, let’s get your sister in the stroller and go for a walk around the neighbour.”
“Sure thing Bump."
As we’re passing the school where Max will be going into grade 5, <more>
I have a few standard lines when I pass people from behind while running on our local trail.
As I’m coming up to pass, you’ll hear me, <more>
Imagine you’re heading out on summer vacation. Your 4 year old and 7 year old are all excited and jabbering away in the back seat. You double check the trailer hitch to make sure the camper is securely attached and pull out of the driveway at 9:30am. You figure you’ll be at today's destination by 3pm and you think back to when you were one of the kids in the back seat. You glance at your partner, “It’s beautiful out, I’m really looking forward to the drive.".
You’re not one kilometre from home and you hear a loud noise and then see <more>
Tomorrow we head out for our annual family vacation— kids, spouses and grandkids. It’s something we all look forward to each year. Unfortunately, we’re down one person this year as our son-in-law is on an extended voyage at sea for his work with the Navy.
As the grandkids have gotten older, we’ve <more>
After 4 years in our new house I decided to put a few finishing touches on the garage. Specifically, paint the floor and take the rough "construction look" out of a small set of steps.
I move stuff from one side of the garage to the other, paint and then reverse the process for the other side. I think I handled everything in the garage <more>
I’ve been thinking about retreats a lot lately. Probably because I just finished two this month, finalizing one in July and a few on the docket in the fall.
This "retreat thinking" caused me to recall <more>
This past weekend we were looking after our 2-year old granddaughter, Maesey, for an hour or so to cover for our daughter who wanted to get out for a long run.
We did the usual kid activities—some food, some colouring, some hide-the-duckies, some toys and some reading.
What strikes me is her <more>
A few weeks back I was speaking with the senior leadership team of a large national police force. During one of the exercises someone asks, "In our work, we are constantly barraged with negative situations. What advice do you have so that we can be grateful ?" He goes on, "Our work is <more>
Last week I’m checking out of my hotel. It’s early in the morning. I approach the reception desk and notice a brightly coloured service bell 🛎️ on the counter.
I look at the Front Desk Associate and say, "Nice bell." Then I slowly reach into my briefcase and presto—I pull out <more>
I recently spent a couple days in Toronto with our 9 year old grandson Max. We went to watch a Raptors basketball game and to explore the big city.
And explore we did—we did a ton of walking.
The most common sentence I said to him during our walks was, "Hey buddy, looks like <more>
Junior high had to be the best 3 years of school for me. One of the things we did at that time was build and ride go-karts. Our speedway was a nearby paved hill behind a local <more>
Leadership is often associated with having the right answers. But in today’s complex world, the real advantage lies in asking better questions and creating space for reflection.
Through years of facilitating executive groups, I’ve seen how removing the pressure to “fix” leads to deeper, more honest, and more impactful insights.
This video explores a simple yet powerful practice you can use immediately with your leadership team.
🎥👉 Watch now and elevate your leadership approach